Comparative Religions 101
Taoism: Shit Happens
Confucianism: Confucius say, 'Shit Happens'
Buddhism: If Shit Happens, it's not really Shit
Zen(Rinzai): What is the sound of Shit Happening?
Zen(Soto): Shit just Happens
Hinduism: This Shit Happened before
Sikhism: Leave our Shit alone
Jainism: Don't accidentily swallow flies and Shit
Islam: If Shit Happens, it is the will of Allah
Nation of Islam: Don't take no Shit!
Hare Krishna: Shit Happens, Shit Happens, Rama Rama *ding ding*
Agnosticism: Does Shit Happen?
Atheism: No Shit!
Catholicism: Shit Happens because you are BAD
Protestantism: Catholics are full of Shit
Methodism: Let Shit Happen to somebody else
Calvinism: Shit Happens because you don't work hard enough
Presbyterianism: This Shit was bound to Happen
Episcopalianism: If Shit Happens, hold a proccession
Lutheranism: Shit Happens, but as long as you're sorry it's okay
Anglicanism: Shit Happens, but only to Lutherans
Mormonism: Excrememnt Occurs
Baptist: You're Shitting all wrong, and you're going to hell for it too
Pentacostal: Praise the Shit!
Christian Science: Shit is all in your mind
Existentialism: What is Shit anyway?
Hedonism: There's nothing like a good Shit Happening
Dadaism: Bathtub full of power tools
Jehovah's Witness: Knock Knock. Shit Happens!
Televangelism: Your tax-deductable donation can prevent this Shit from Happening
Fundamentalism: There's no Shit in the Bible
Creationism: Shit has only been Happening since October 23rd, 4004 B.C.
Judaism: Why does Shit always Happen to us?
Reform Judaism: Got any laxatives?
Moonies: Only Shit really Happens
Wicca: Shit is part of the Goddess too
Paganism: Shit Happens for a variety of reasons
Pantheism: It's all a bunch of Shit
Panentheism: Shit transcends us
Mysticism: This is some weird Shit
Unitarianism: Go ahead, Shit anywhere you want
Vegetarianism: If it Shits, don't eat it
Scientology: All this Happens to be Shit
Church of the SubGenius: Shit Happened. For 20$ 'BoB' will sell ou a way to MAKE MONEY FROM IT
Discordianism: Hail Shit!
Seventh Day Adventists: No Shit on Saturday
Amish: Shit is good for the soil
Stoicism: This Shit is good enough for me
Zoroastrianism: Shit Happens half the time
Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this Shit
Voodoo: Let's stick some pins in this Shit
Twelve Step Program: Shit Happens one day at a time
Enviromentalism: Shit is biodegradable
New Age: It's not Shit it's feldspar
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